In all my years working in the business, I can't recall a single issue which polarised the opinions of staff and customers alike, quite like children in restaurants.
This post will give some real world examples of the challenges it poses, and I will also share the advice I give to clients when setting their policies.
It's difficult to know where to begin with this one, so I'll start with my own experiences, both as a restaurateur and as a parent.
As parents, we've always been very mindful of the type of restaurant we've visited with our daughter, both in terms of suitability and space for buggies etc. Time of day has also been a factor, as I'm a firm believer that there is an hour beyond which babies and young children should not be in a restaurant.
We've always followed a few simple rules. Generally, we've stuck to lunch time or early evening. When visiting restaurants with no space for a buggy, we didn't bring one. If the baby was upset, we took her out. Finally, and most importantly, if the menu was not suitable or easily adaptable for children, we'd go somewhere with a more appropriate menu. All too often parents make the mistake of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
We were fortunate in Alexis to have a big room with plenty of space for high chairs and buggies. Our menu was easily adaptable for children and we welcomed families, particularly at lunch time and early evening. However, we still encountered plenty of instances of parents making the wrong decisions, leading to unnecessary problems.
Alexis...Large open plan space.
The most common problem was parents leaving toddlers and children to their own devices, while they sat and enjoyed their meal. In my view, this is unfair, unsafe and unacceptable. There are multiple safety hazards in a restaurant, and staff should not be expected to double as child minders. I recall one particular incident where two unattended five year olds did hundreds of Euro worth of damage in our garden. Their parent's response when we told them was defensive, and along the lines of "boys will be boys".
On our menus, we offered half portions of most dishes for children, along with some specific child friendly dishes. We were still regularly asked for everything from chicken nuggets to pizza, and usually faced with a disgruntled parent when the request could not be met. My advice to parents is to do your research. If your children only eat pizza, then bring them to a pizza restaurant.
The most difficult issue to address is a crying baby in the restaurant. It's a lose/lose for the staff as they may encounter pressure from other guests to do something, but the chances of the request being well received by the parents are slim. I've experienced this problem first hand, and have always taken the view that it is the responsibility of the restaurant to consider every guest in the room. I don't think it's appropriate to have young children and babies in a restaurant at night time, unless the restaurant is specifically family orientated. There has to be "adult time" when people, many of whom will have organised babysitters themselves, can relax and enjoy some time to themselves.
It appears that the problem is a global one. This tweet from Grant Achatz of 3 Michelin starred Alinea in Chicago sparked a world wide, often bad tempered debate on the issue last year.
This issue raised it's thorny head closer to home recently, when a mother and her baby were refused entry to a Dublin 4 restaurant at lunch time. In my view, this particular incident was poorly handled by the restaurant. I also found their position to be an odd one, given the fact their offering is pizza/pasta. However, I respect their right to set whatever policies they deem best for all of their clients.
The trap which many restaurants fall into is that they do not set clear policies from the outset, and try to deal with problems on an ad-hoc basis as they arise. They try to please everybody, and end up pleasing nobody. I always advise clients to set concise policies from the outset, and to make sure that all staff are 100% clear what those policies are. More importantly, staff should be fully aware why the policies are in place, and be able to give guests a simple, coherent explanation if asked.
In addition, restaurants should make it clear on their website whether or not they cater for children, and if so, at what times. Restaurants which welcome children, should ensure that sufficient thought has gone into their menus and facilities, to make their guests' experience as enjoyable as possible.
Like most customer service problems encountered by restaurants, issues with children usually arise as a result of poor planning and communication. Both parties in the equation have a responsibility to minimise the risk of difficulties arising. Parents could help themselves considerably by researching the restaurant in advance of their visit, and being mindful of the staff and other guests once they arrive. Likewise, restaurants should be considerate towards parents and do their best to accommodate them wherever possible.
It doesn't seem like too much to ask given the potential upside for all concerned.